Inconvenient Accidents

Really, is there any other kind?

I don't know about you, but when I'm driving I occasionally think "I can not get in a car accident right now 'cause blank blank blank." They are not the most noble of reasons to not want to get in a car accident.

I'm on my way home, absolutely starving. I have Subway, Del Taco, Cafe Rio etc. (not all at once, let's not jump to conclusions) sitting on the front seat and I'm dying to get home to devour this meal. At this time, I think I do not want to get in a car accident 'cause I'm starving, and I don't want to be the fatty sitting on the side of the road eating Del Taco next to my smushed car while I wait for the PO-lice to show up.

I'm on my way to work, and I'm in a bit of a hurry 'cause I am late, as ever. The last place I would like to get into a car accident is right outside my work. Unfortunately, I know this from experience. I totaled my car pulling into my work parking lot. I had coworkers running out to stare help me. Luckily I was perfectly ok, and for some reason I made the brave decision to work the rest of the day. It was a long day of whispers, and endless questions, and "Hey, I heard you got into an accident this morning outside work." And the worst part was it was my fault, and so every time someone asked what happened I had to try to tell the story to make myself sound less like a retard. Unsuccessfully.

Whatever you do, do not get into an accident outside your work.

The other day I came to the realization that I tend to make funny faces at myself in the rearview mirror. Not entirely sure why I do this. It's not a vain thing, but perhaps more of a boredom thing. And if I'm bored during a five minute drive to work, then something must be wrong with me. I sure don't want to be the girl that got into an accident because I was cross-eyed with flared nostrils.

Occasionally I come across an accident, and it's sad. I hope that everyone is ok, and that no one is too terribly injured. And it's just human nature to enjoy staring at crumpled wreckage. I'm not too interested in getting in a car accident because I was staring at a car accident. Although, having emergency vehicles right there would be convenient.

Am I the only one who has ever had thoughts like these?