So, I have a half an hour left at work and it couldn't go by any slower. I have done practically nothing all day; I listened to half an audio book, I played two intense games of Settlers, I checked my email an absurd amount of times, took an extra long lunch, cleaned my computer monitors, checked my bank account, read every blog of every soul I know that has a blog, wrote a blog and then deleted it 'cause it was lame, stressed my stress ball until it split, thought mean thoughts about my coworkers, updated my survivor fantasy league and stared into space. Oh, and I sent (get this) a whopping 17 emails.
"Bre- you are so lazy!" You must be thinking. "They pay you to work, not to ponder on who you think will read tree mail!"
You would be right. About the second part though- you shouldn't call me lazy, it's rude. There is nothing for me to do; we are so caught up that we are answering emails as they come in at a slow trickle. Which brings me to my main vent:
My stupid coworker is so anal and thinks that he has to do everything at top speed. Heaven forbid we stretch the work out all day, but no. I'm fairly confident he thinks that the his eyeballs will melt if everything isn't done by 9:00am. It would be awesome if that was the case, but it is not. SO, since I try to stretch the work out to last, and he's furiously typing away for fear of eye meltage two things happen. 1. He does most of the work and I look like I'm just not doing anything (ironically it's true, but it's not my fault) and 2. I spend the next 6-7 hours of my work day desperate for entertainment, work to do, or my coworker to suddenly get gout (what's gout? I just saw it on House the other day).
Side note, but on subject. This same coworker offered to trade me beds yesterday. Yeah, I'm not joking. Me and a friend were talking about bed sizes and I had mentioned that I have a full and the eavesdropper that he is joins the conversation and offers this: "You know, I recently got divorced, and I have a king size bed to myself that's only 7 years old. If yours isn't too bad, we could just trade." I almost threw up in my mouth. That was the nastiest offer I think I have had my entire life.
Gross.
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2 comments:
"Only" 7 years old? That's disgusting, there's probably pee stains all over it not to mention who knows what - what a freaking weirdo! Gag me with a spoon.
But I do have to say you are pretty awesome, but you already know that.
Trade him and then just buy a new mattress!!! That's the only part he would've got cooties on anyway (unless he has special talents or deformities - and then you should reconsider)
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