People, I Can't Stand Ya

Lately I have been losing my patience with people.  More and more I get annoyed with the stupid things that people say. 

The other day this lady was telling a "funny story" of how she hit a big ol' chicken with her car, and she wanted to get a picture of the bird to show people the bird she hit, but the bird flew off. So she giggled as she followed the blood trail which went behind a gate, where a man was standing and she asked the man if he saw a chicken come that way.  And he said yeah, that was my chicken and she's dead.  She asked if she could get a picture of it, and he said no, she asked again and he still said no.  She was annoyed that he wouldn't let her take a picture of his dead bird, and said that the guy seemed really ornery. 

You think?  You killed his bird, it probably had a name and everything.  She also bragged about how nice she was that she didn't make the guy pay for her broken mirror.  Then she complained that it was a bad day 'cause so many people teased her about hitting the bird.  I'm pretty sure the chicken had a worse day.  How the fuddilymudd was that a funny story? I wanted to cry for the poor bird.

Why do pregnant ladies feel so entitled?  Every Thursday my company provides breakfast.  One lady was spreading cream cheese on her bagel and another guy who was waiting to use it after her noticed that it was fat free, and said so.  The lady said, "Are you calling me fat?!  I'm pregnant, and you shouldn't call pregnant ladies names, 'cause then you'll get beaten up by their husbands, and my husband has a gun."

Alrighty.  Where to start?

1.  She was probably like 6 weeks preggo 'cause she wasn't showing in the slightest.
2.  She was skinny to begin with.
3.  I'm pretty sure you shouldn't call anyone names, regardless if they are expecting or not.
4.  Noticing that the cream cheese you're using doesn't constitute as calling you fat, but obviously you're quite insecure.
5.  Really, you jumped straight to your husband having a gun?  Even if he was calling you fat, really- a gun?

Moving on.. .

Have you ever heard of the backdoor compliment?  It's when a person degrades themselves, but manages to still give themselves a compliment at the same time.  Example:  "I would be terrible at a fist fight because I'm so small and petite."

These bug me so bad.  Those and the people that just put themselves down completely, like call themselves fat, just so someone will come back and say no you're not, you're gorgeous.  Every time someone does that I wanna come back with, "Hmm, you are kinda portly, aren't you?  I didn't notice until you brought it to my attention."

A couple weeks ago we Redboxed The Day the Earth Stood Still, and it's about an alien (Keanu Reeves) who comes to save Earth, and it turns out that he's actually saving Earth from people by killing all the people so the Earth can survive.  Throughout the movie the main character (nasty Jennifer Connelly) is trying to convince him to let the people live and that we can change.  I found myself rooting for the alien, 'cause really I doubt that the human race is capable of changing, and I feel that Earth would be better without us.

I know you think I'm just a mean person.  But you all have people in your life you just can't stand, and there are strangers you see where you can't help but roll your eyes and avoid eye contact hoping they don't try to strike up a conversation.  I'm just more open about it.