Do you mind if I put your on hold while I scrape my brain off the floor?

Once upon a time I held a different position here at the sunny company of a.com. In this position I took calls from the customer service agents that either didn't know what to do in a given situation, or needed an exception made. I also took escalated calls from the most irate people on the planet. This position has been called the following; supervisor, escalation, and executive office. I loved my job, but now I have a better job. One that doesn't require me to ever deal with stupid people. I now look back upon those days and think the position title should have been a bucket for people to piss in.

Once a month my old team holds a meeting that requires the entire team. As they cannot leave the phones unmanned, my old manager (to protect his identity we'll call him Smaaron) asks me to cover for them, as I already know what I'm doing. Sure, why not? Smaaron is a good guy, he gave me that job, and then gave it to me again when I left the team previously, and then gave me a glowing recommendation that may or may not have helped me get the position I have now, so sure- I'll help you out!

That was about 7 months ago, and each month I spend an hour on the phones it becomes increasingly more frustrating than the last as I slowly forget everything my old job entails. Here I am, this very moment, headset perched precariously on my soon-to-explode head. My first call was an escalated call from a guy that already thought we were a bunch of retards that don't know what we're doing. Gosh, I hope I don't encourage that notion. The agent that transferred him over wasn't able to find his account. I used to secretly get annoyed at agents that couldn't find customer's accounts 'cause there are all sorts of different ways you can find them. I couldn't find this guy's account for the life of me; I couldn't remember all of my little tricks and I no longer have access to any of the resources I once did. I couldn't remember our fax number (I haven't had to have anything faxed to me since I left that team) and I couldn't even remember my own extension. Yes, it was a proud moment for me. I told him we'd research this further and call him back. In case you're curious- I will not be that individual that calls him back.

Every agent that calls in that worked here when I was on that team always makes a comment along the lines of "My, BreAnn, I haven't talked to you in forever. I thought you got promoted, didn't that work out for you?". It's mighty old having to explain multiple times that I wasn't demoted, but am simply helping out the ol' sluggers while they're in a meeting.

Meanwhile, there was another girl that was supposed to be helping me cover the phones as well. Detect a hint of bitterness, perhaps? That's because it's there. I can see this {insert derogatory term here}'s desk from my desk. This {insert offensive slur here} wasn't at her desk the entire time! I was about to get all {insert verb that will most likely be an over-reaction here} on her {insert body part that won't appreciate the previous verb here} when my old team got out of their meeting and Smaaron relieved me. You didn't think you were going to be playing Mad-Libs when you came to my blog today, did you?

So, I think the only knowledge I have retained from my old position is "Hi, this is BreAnn" and "Thanks for calling!" Everything in between is gone. I told Smaaron that I don't remember anything. He laughed and I'm pretty sure he thought I was kidding. I guess next month I will really have to piss a customer off to get the point across.