My New Favorite

Well, Golly-I have a new love in my life. And it's spouse approved, so who can argue with that? This love goes by the name of Talk2TheTrees.

Going to this site makes my heart ache 'cause I want nearly everything there. I've become a bit of a headband addict in my later years, and this does not heal my addiction.

I got this little gem:

It's lightweight, it doesn't make perma-dents behind my ears and it's oh so delightful to the eyes. It's all I can do not to wear it every day.

I figured once I got my beloved peacock headband I would be good to go, but . . . then I saw the other feathered headbands. They're delicious.

I can hardly decide which one I want more.

You just can't deny the fantastic-ness.

While I am biased towards the headband, she has tons of delightful stuff like cute pixie hats, beanies, essential Valentines decor, and art. And all at good prices. What's not to love? Thus I am smitten.

On a completely unrelated note: Aren't Thursdays just the best? Oh, and today is Jordan's birthday, and it's the anniversary of the challenger exploding. OR as Jordan explained in an epic storytelling- "Jan 28 1986 was a day of rejoice and great tragedy; a life began . . . and lives were taken." (it's really better to hear that in Jordan's James Earl Jones wannabe storyteller voice)

But mostly, it's Jordan's birthday.

Do you mind if I put your on hold while I scrape my brain off the floor?

Once upon a time I held a different position here at the sunny company of a.com. In this position I took calls from the customer service agents that either didn't know what to do in a given situation, or needed an exception made. I also took escalated calls from the most irate people on the planet. This position has been called the following; supervisor, escalation, and executive office. I loved my job, but now I have a better job. One that doesn't require me to ever deal with stupid people. I now look back upon those days and think the position title should have been a bucket for people to piss in.

Once a month my old team holds a meeting that requires the entire team. As they cannot leave the phones unmanned, my old manager (to protect his identity we'll call him Smaaron) asks me to cover for them, as I already know what I'm doing. Sure, why not? Smaaron is a good guy, he gave me that job, and then gave it to me again when I left the team previously, and then gave me a glowing recommendation that may or may not have helped me get the position I have now, so sure- I'll help you out!

That was about 7 months ago, and each month I spend an hour on the phones it becomes increasingly more frustrating than the last as I slowly forget everything my old job entails. Here I am, this very moment, headset perched precariously on my soon-to-explode head. My first call was an escalated call from a guy that already thought we were a bunch of retards that don't know what we're doing. Gosh, I hope I don't encourage that notion. The agent that transferred him over wasn't able to find his account. I used to secretly get annoyed at agents that couldn't find customer's accounts 'cause there are all sorts of different ways you can find them. I couldn't find this guy's account for the life of me; I couldn't remember all of my little tricks and I no longer have access to any of the resources I once did. I couldn't remember our fax number (I haven't had to have anything faxed to me since I left that team) and I couldn't even remember my own extension. Yes, it was a proud moment for me. I told him we'd research this further and call him back. In case you're curious- I will not be that individual that calls him back.

Every agent that calls in that worked here when I was on that team always makes a comment along the lines of "My, BreAnn, I haven't talked to you in forever. I thought you got promoted, didn't that work out for you?". It's mighty old having to explain multiple times that I wasn't demoted, but am simply helping out the ol' sluggers while they're in a meeting.

Meanwhile, there was another girl that was supposed to be helping me cover the phones as well. Detect a hint of bitterness, perhaps? That's because it's there. I can see this {insert derogatory term here}'s desk from my desk. This {insert offensive slur here} wasn't at her desk the entire time! I was about to get all {insert verb that will most likely be an over-reaction here} on her {insert body part that won't appreciate the previous verb here} when my old team got out of their meeting and Smaaron relieved me. You didn't think you were going to be playing Mad-Libs when you came to my blog today, did you?

So, I think the only knowledge I have retained from my old position is "Hi, this is BreAnn" and "Thanks for calling!" Everything in between is gone. I told Smaaron that I don't remember anything. He laughed and I'm pretty sure he thought I was kidding. I guess next month I will really have to piss a customer off to get the point across.

Aerobics from Hell

A couple days ago my Visiting Teacher invited me to go to a strength training class at the Orem Rec Center. Jordan got me a treadmill for Christmas, so I was getting my cardio in, but I thought that adding strength training would be nice, so why not? I could maybe even gain a friend, and lose a few in the process. Pounds, that is. In no way did I foresee my going to the gym would cause me to lose friends.

We walked into the Rec Center and I started steering toward the weight room, when VT lady starts going to the aerobics room. Um, what, now? I specifically heard the words "strength, weights, and training", never was aerobic uttered. I stomp up the stairs dreadfully and I can already hear music that should only be allowed in Russian rave clubs. We were a little late, so we walk into the room to an aerobics class in full swing, skinny girls everywhere dancing around with exercise balls. This is my own personal hell.

It's too late to run out screaming, plus VT lady drove. So, it seems there is no escape for me. I get my own jolly exercise ball and join in the festivities, as all the girls act as though it is cinco de mayo up in here. Unfortunately, the only spot left was right in front of the open door. Awesome. The class was lead by The Terminator, a rock hard lady with a Portuguese-esque accent, and she was ruthless.

I had the following thoughts throughout class:


This lady is a werewolf.
She wants me to do what, now?
I will find this lady and kill her in her sleep.
CRAMP!
Oh gosh, I've been here five minutes and I'm going to throw up!
This lady is evil.
Is this my VT lady's idea of fellowshipping?!
This lady is a machine, maybe she doesn't know we aren't either.
Did I just hear that skinny chick next to me is pregnant?! She is kicking my trash! Pregnant lady is as machine-like as workout lady!
If this lady has kids, I will make them watch while I kill her in her sleep.
CRAMP!
I can't feel my legs anymore! Do I even have legs?! (look down) Yeah, they're there all right.
Ok, I got this! I got this! I DON'T GOT THIS!
I'm going to have to thank VT lady for bringing me here!
I'll never forgive VT lady for bringing me here!!!
Hey, this isn't so bad, I can do this!
I should have gotten a heavier weight, this is too easy (rep set 1)
Bloody hell, I can't feel my arms now either! Should have gotten a lighter one! (rep set 3)
CRAMP!
Hmm, I almost dropped the weight on my face, that would have been embarrassing. Oh, and painful too.
I could totally do this again
I am burning down the building
This lady is very bouncy
Why is she wearing rainbow socks? Why would anyone wear rainbow socks?
Man, I'm excited about Survivor starting up
This lady is part vampire, part cat, part bully
The devil got it on with this lady's mom and produced this creature bouncing in front of the class.
I so deserve Cafe Rio for this
Am I the only one with rivulets of sweat running down my face?
Did she just lose her accent?! She just lost her accent! That was scarier than her accent in the first place!
This class better only be an hour long, it's been 50 minutes and she shows zero signs of letting up
She wants me to grab my foot? Do I loooook like I can grab my foot?!
Oh, cool- there is a crowd gathered at the door to watch, this couldn't get any better
I DID IT!!! I DID IT!!! I AM THE CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!!!!
(sniff) yeah, I could totally do that next week

The best part though, is that this lady came in right as it was done and starting asking me questions about the class and about the stuff that we do and do we "do a lot of jumping?". Really, honestly- Do I look like I'm an expert on the class? I told her it was my first time, and she should talk to the teacher, who could give her more info. She continued to grill me. She overlooked the class and said "I think I would be the oldest person here", I said so? What does that matter? She continued to look worried, "It looks like some of those ladies dye their roots to cover gray hair, but I would still be the oldest." Is this lady for real?! I said "So, I'm the fattest, what does that matter?!" I literally told this lady four (yes, four) times to just talk to the teacher 'cause I can't answer her questions before I just walked away while she was still talking. Rude, yes, but really, she wasn't listening to a word I said anyway. She kept talking to me while I walked clear across to the other side of the room to put my equipment away. A little dense.

SO, that was me popping my aerobics cherry.

Oh, and today is my birthday. And Martin Luther King Jr's. So there's that.

Survivor Cast Announced!

I'm so excited I could poo. . . or something else more appropriate.

This season for Survivor they are doing Heroes vs. Villians and the entire cast are past Survivor cast members. Did you just get goosebumps too? No? Well, wait till you see the cast! Go ahead, take a peek right here.

Oh yeah, this is going to be one slammin' season! I thought no way am I ever going to see Colby and Boston Rob again since they've already done the show twice. Apparently CBS has heard my prayers. Thank you, I now believe in miracles.

Colby Donaldson is my favorite Survivor. And what's to hate, really?

Is it his southern charm, those pearly whites, or sparkly eyes that has me swooning each season? Why, yes it is. But in addition to his delightfully good looks, this guy sure can play the game! Mr. Colby, I will be rooting for you! When I found out this man was going to be on the show I literally choked by sister. It's unfortunate, but really, it's what had to be done. Sure, she's no longer with us, but I have Colby to fill the void so I'm good to go. And did they really (really) have to bring Jerri back as well? Yes, I suppose they did. Please notice that the hat she's wearing in her pic is the hat she stole from Colby on Survivor: All Stars. While she gets on my nerves, I'm going to enjoy watching her chase after Colby, and Colby disgustingly try to get the Jerri off of him. Smart man.

I don't even know where to begin on the rest of the cast. Boston Rob is going to be a joy, of course. All though after watching his interview he's kind of turned into a kitten since his baby was born. He's all soft and sentimental now, which is great for your average Joe, but unsettling coming from Rob. I'm curious to see how that will mess with his game. He says he's going to try to be nice this season, but I just can't imagine it. Try as I might.

Courtney is back, that should be fun and entertaining, though I'm not sure how I feel about having Amanda back. Word on the street is Courtney already has an alliance with Jerri and Sugar. Interesting combination to say the least. But a big fat hurray for James being back. He still holds a place in my heart as the most imposing person that I would still like to hug. Along with Rupert. Both huge guys, both teddy bears at heart.

On a side and very related note: I have hugged Rupert and it's as terrifying and yet soothing as one might imagine. And sweaty, very sweaty.

Anyway, I could go on and on and on about my personal reflections on the cast members, but I will just leave you with some peer pressure:

Watch Survivor Thurs Feb 11 8/7c, all the cool kids are doing it.