Vegetarianish

Last weekend I went to Texas Roadhouse with a couple of my family members.  They convinced me to try the steak, and I decided to give it a go, and me and my sister, Britney decided to split one.

The waiter came along and asked for our order, and asked how we'd like it cooked.  Britney piped up with "medium rare" as I was about to say "well-done" and I realized that although we're splitting a steak we never put much thought ahead of time that we'd probably want it cooked differently.  The waiter and my family assured me that "medium-rare" was the best way to cook a steak 'cause the meat melts in your mouth.  Really, melting meat is the best way you can convince me to try something new?  'Cause the idea of meat melting in my mouth isn't as appetizing as you might think.  I said ok, I'll do it your way, let's go ahead and cook it medium-rare.

The steak came out and my stomach flipped.  It was so red.  I was told that the red is just the juices, and it's not blood.  Personally, I'm going to go ahead and assume that if it looks like blood, smells like blood and tastes like blood, chances are extremely high that it's blood.  The kind waiter happened to stop by as I said "I'm sorry, I just can't eat that." and said he'd take my half back to cook more.  While I'm incredibly grateful, I couldn't help but wonder why that option wasn't offered in the beginning while we were debating how the steak should be cooked.  My brother said to the waiter, "Sorry, she's a vegetarian, and we're trying to get her to start eating meat."  Not true, but completely worth the look on the waiter's face as his jaw dropped and said something along the lines of  "Wow, you're sure throwing her out there starting her with a steak."

My steak came back still pink, but I didn't want to be the brat to send it back a second time, and decided to just eat it as is.  I don't want to use the word "painful", but I've come to the conclusion that I'm not a steak girl.  That meat just sat in my stomach all day and made me feel gross.  I'm still waiting for a cat-sized parasite to burst through my stomach adorned in top hat and tails ala Space Balls's parody of Alien.

But now I'm thinking maybe I should be a vegetarian. I've actually put a lot of thought into this, and I'm going to do it.  No animal products whatsoever.

Except dairy of course.  That's not really a big deal, anyway.  And life without ice cream is no life at all.  Oh, and eggs I think are fine 'cause those things were never alive anyway, and they get laid whether or not people eat them.  So milk and eggs, but everything else is off limit.

Except. . .  tuna's not bad, right?  Fish aren't really that sentient and fish are just fish.  Yes, tuna is ok.

Although, chicken is just the basic white meat, right?  Chicken is just chicken and it's hard to get away from chicken, so why bother?  Ok, so chicken is acceptable.  It'll be my source of protein, since the body has to have protein.

And Turkey on thanksgiving.  What is Thanksgiving without turkey?  Turkeys are stupid anyway.  They can drown themselves by looking up at the sky when it rains.  That being said, they kind of deserve to die.

And bacon is super delicious.  I mean, really really good stuff, that bacon.

Other than that I'm going to be a totally hardcore vegetarian.