Bella is in a constant state of freezing, she thinks the only place she can sleep is under the covers up against my legs. She also couldn't possibly sleep without licking every inch of my legs and every single toe sufficiently before succumbing to a blissful sleep. While having her there doesn't exactly make me comfortable, I've gotten used to it. What I haven't gotten used to is . . . The Hunt.
Kloe is our cat. She's fairly large, although I suspect most of it is fur and super saggy skin. Kloe has lots of hobbies. Her hobbies include, but are not limited to; sleeping all day, sneaking Q-tips from the bathroom, playing with her sister Kea, kicking Bella out of the heated beds, lounging on the bathroom floor, standing in the space her water bowl goes (so when you try to put it back after filling it you can't), standing on the bathroom counter so she can lick the water off your hands as you wash them, and sitting on the tub so she can watch you shower.
But her favorite hobby of all, is to hunt Bella in the night time. Although I don't see what she gets out of it, as it couldn't be much of a challenge; she knows exactly where to find Bella each night. She'll jump up on the bed, and wack the spot in the bed where Bella sleeps. Kloe wacks, Bella yelps, Kloe wacks some more. Then I ever so gently NUDGE Kloe off the bed with my foot. Don't worry, no kittehs are harmed, they always land on their feet, right? Right? Meh- it's dark so I don't know how she lands. That's what she gets, 'cause she doesn't do this when I'm wide awake, she only does this when I'm on the cusp of sleep, and in my half awake- half asleep state a loud WACK on the bed scares the poo out of me.
Never one to be deterred from any activity she enjoys, Kloe inevitably returns minutes later to start the process all over again. Getting sick of the games, a couple nights ago I decided on a softer approach. When the wack came, rather than push her off the bed I snatched her up and proceeded to subject her to some fierce cuddling. This plan backfired greatly. My assumption had been she would freak out and run away never to return again, aha! However, she put forth the world's loudest purr straight into my ear, and began to lick my hand like a puppy, methodically moving from one finger to the next. She continued her barrage of love by rubbing her face into my hair (atomic purring all the while), and rolling around.
Once Kloe was bored, or more entertained by something else, she wanders off, and in enters Kea.
Should Kea find me lying on my side, she finds the only way she can be comfortable is to stretch out on top of me, molding to my side like a fuzzy kitteh blanket. A blanket with claws to ensure she stays atop me should I make the grave mistake of moving. If you're curious, yes-breathing constitutes as moving.
Should this creature of mine find me not lying on my side, she carries out her most favorite of early morning rituals. When I say "early morning" I mean early morning. She loves to trot in at 5AM and nibble on my ear. Not the fleshy lobe part, but the upper part that has that curling lip that is apparently so perfect for cat fangs to grasp a hold of. This particular brand of nibbling seems harmless at first. That's what she wants you to think. She locks her vice-like jaws softly, and gradually increases pressure, slowly pinching until you're convinced she has just pierced your ear. And the worst part is she does not let go, and there is nothing you can do to convince her otherwise. I have tried to pull at her scruff, shake her (again, ever so gently) and pinch her so she knows how it feels and empathetically release but no- you simply have to wait until she thinks you have been willed into submission by her power. And then she releases, and skips along pleased with herself.
All the while we have Brighton. This boy is dead to the world when he sleeps. Observe:
Passed out on Jordan's shoulder, doesn't look so comfortable, but Jordan could get up and walk around, pick him up, put him down etc. and he wouldn't wake up until he's good and ready to. Keeping along with the tradition of particular sleep habits the other pets have, this boy can only sleep stretched out in between Jordan and I. I have tried to move him to the other side of Jordan, but the speed in which he frantically scrambled over Jordan back to the very center of the bed could only be described as motivated by fear. Perhaps he is concerned about intruders and feels the center is the safest.
The worst part however is should I move, he slides in closer to me. For example; if I'm on my back, and I roll over onto my side, he will slide in closer to me and stretch along my back. But then, I can't roll back over (without squishing him). So then I am forced to roll over to my stomach if I need to change positions, but of course he slides himself right on over and I am again blocked off from rolling over the opposite direction. Many a time I have woken on the very edge of the bed, Brighton pressed against me and a massive gap in the middle. I have tried to pick him up and move him, but he just lets himself slide right back up against me.
It's a wonder I get any sleep at all with every single patch of horror we have adopted into our lives. They're still cute though, so I will keep them.
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