MOM

In honor of Mother's day, I thought I would reminisce on a few memories of my mom.

When I was in Kindergarten each student had to read a story in front of the class.  I decided to do The Little Red Hen.  If you've never heard it before it was about a hen that grew some wheat and eventually used it to bake bread, all while her barnyard friends wouldn't help her.  I'm sure there is a magical morale mixed in there somewhere.  My mom made miniature loaves of bread for each kid in my class to have.  All the kids thougt that was really cool that they got their own loaf of bread, myself included.  I was the coolest kid in class that day.

*****

My mom has always said she has ways of knowing things we think she couldn't possibly know, and if we ever do anything wrong, she'll know about it.  She had a rule that we couldn't go downtown by oursleves, and I suppose it was a little dangerous.  One day me and my friend decided we were going to bike to the local library.  Yes, I realize how nerdy this makes me look that I would risk getting grounded to sneak to the library of all places.  We biked down there, perused the library, went to the drugstore to buy some candy, went back to the library and read our books while eating our candy in the most sneaky of fashions to hide it from the librarians, and biked home.  I thought we were home free (pun intended) until my mom came home from work that evening and asked how the library was.  She was at work all day!  She is a magician.

***** 

When my friends called the house and my mom answered the phone, it went something like this:

Friend: "Is Bre there?"

Mom: "Physically, but not mentally."

Classic.

***** 

One day my mom mentioned how much me and sister looked alike.  We don't, and I mean we really don't.  With my prowess in rhetoric I jumped to the first comparison that came to mind.  Bugs, of course.  "But mom, Brit is like a Walking Stick, and I'm like a-a Potato Bug!"

I should add that I was about 21 at that time.

I was in between apartments, and was crashing on my parents couch in the basement while I was waiting for the current tenants to move out of my apartment so I could move in.  I had several friends over, and we were sitting in the basement when my mom started yelling down the steps:

"POTATO BUG!  POTAAAAATO BUUUUUUG!  OH, POTATO BUG!"

My friends stopped talking to listen to my mom holler down the stairs.  Of course I tried, in vain, to ignore it. 

"Is your mom saying 'Potato Bug'?"

"Ummmmm yeah, I guess she is."

"Wait, is your mom calling you Potato Bug?"

"Ha ha, no."

Then my mom chirps in with, "Potato Bug?  BRE!  Potato Bug, c'mere!"

She knew my friends were there, and knew exactly the effect it would have.  Of course, my friends started calling me Potato Bug.

***** 

Jordan and I were freshly dating, and were still in the transition from friends to more than.  I was again living in my parents basement, but this time I was occupying the only bedroom downstairs.  Jordan came over to hang out a lot, so she was used to him there, but I guess she had sensed the change.  I had a TV in my room, and we were sitting there watching a movie when she burst through the door with my dad's old shotgun and shouted "What are your intentions with my daughter?!"  Except, she barely finished her sentence before she bust out laughing, and continued to laugh so hard she cried.  She laughed the rest of the evening, she was so proud of herself.  Jordan however, didn't find it as funny, and it took a while before he wasn't intimidated by my mom.  I personally look forward to doing the same thing to my daughters' boyfriends.

I should probably make it clear that the gun wasn't loaded.

*****

My mom has a fear of water, and when we were planning our trip to Lake Powell we were desperate for her to come, even though we were planning on staying on a houseboat.  It took a lot of begging, canoodling and bribing, but she eventually agreed to go on the trip.

Once there we joked about how we were going to get her out on the tube behind the speedboat.  One morning we were all outside getting the boat ready to take out when she stepped out of the houseboat in her swimsuit, zipped up her lifejacket and said she was ready to go.

All our jaws dropped and we stared, unable to believe she was really going to get on the tube.  Despite her fear she hopped on that tube.

Smiling or grimacing, you ask?  I think I little bit of both.



While she didn't exactly conquer her fear, I was so proud that she kicked it in the butt a little that day.

******

My mom playing guitar hero.  And if this awesomeness isn't self-explanatory, the look on Jordan's face in the background should be explanation enough.

My mom is the greatest mother I could have asked for.  I feel so lucky to be her daughter.  When I grow up I want to be just like her.