The Elusive White Lion

Friday was Jordan's day off.  I guess he was bored 'cause I noticed that he started to drop files into my Dropbox.  I opened it up and saw that they were images of white lions.

Which, I think we can all agree, is pretty peculiar.  To say the least.

I texted that chap asking what the deal was with all the white lion pictures, and he just responded that he would show me when I get home.  This made me incredibly nervous, and I didn't see anything good coming out of him not being able to tell me why he was doing a little research on the subject of white lions.

Flash forward to me getting home.  I put my key into the lock, and I'm greeted to Brighton's barking.  This is completely normal.  Bella doesn't bark, but they both rush to the door to greet me and welcome me home from work.  I love this.  It's nice to know that there are creatures at home anxiously awaiting my return.

I wonder if I could request that Jordan bark when I get home?

So I open the door and there is Bella, spinning in backwards circles as she tends to do when she gets excited.  Then rushes towards me a creature that I am not sure how to process.  A million things run through my head as I try to comprehend what has happened.

It was a white lion.

Jordan proudly exclaimed "He's a lion!  Look how big his head looks on his little body!"

Later he asked if he could get some professional haircutting scissors since now he's a pro, and said that if I wanted he could make me look like a lion as well.

Mighty tempting.

Now he's thinking about cutting off his beard, but leaving a long goatee.  I'm thinking about hiding all the scissors.



Lord of Valentine's Day

Confession:  I'm kind of a nerd.  In High School I was pretty obsessed with Lord of the Rings.  For Valentine's Day I thought it would be fun to hand out little valentines to all my friends, since I hadn't done that since sixth grade.  And I knew without a shadow of doubt that I wanted to get Lord of the Rings valentines.  I skipped off to the store (let's not get literal) and looked for LoTR valentine cards.

There were all sorts of themes to be found, but no Lord of the Rings.

I was pissed to say the least.

I was a little embarrassed that no one had the foresight to create Lord of the Rings valentine cards, but I wasn't about to give up that easy.  I had a plan.  I would be making this cards.   And they were going to be fantastic.

All I needed was pictures from the movie and cheesy sayings (i.e. I choo-choo-choose you) to coincide with said pictures.  Me and my friend sat down and came up with the most ingenious valentine card sayings ever thought of this side of the Mississippi.  My friend put them together, and heaven help me if they weren't the coolest cards on any side of the Mississippi.

Cool enough that I couldn't bear to give them away.  And friends spent Valentine's Day sans 1 LoTR V-Day card.  I still have them in fact, and would like to share.  Also, if you hate Lord of the Rings you can't read.

If I had thought of this earlier I could have scanned these and you would be able to see them in their full glory, but please accept my apologies, and enjoy the sayings at least.

Far-a-mir satisfaction, be mine for Valentine's Day

Why don't you give smea-gol-little lovin'?

Your love comes in pints?  I'm getting one!

I would be quite Merry if you would be mine for Valentine's Day

Your love is quite Hobbit forming

You Took my heart away

Gimli a little kiss!

We likes your loves fresh . . .Raw & wriggly  (Although, now that I'm older that sounds incredibly wrong)

I'll never Lego-las . . . Happy Valentines Day

We've have one, yes. . . But what about a second kiss?

Be mine, my own, my preciousssssss

Well you need people of good looks for this Valentine's . . . Day . . .thing.

Urakai . . . Be my Valentine?!  (My personal favorite, and my mom actually came up with that one.  Iif you're having a hard time figuring it out, "Urakai" is supposed to sound like "you're a guy".  There, you're getting it now)

I'd be a Sar-u-man if you won't be my Valentine

Golly, I am literally blushing with how completely dorky I am.  But at the same time, I just can't regret these awesome cards.

Happy Valentine's Day all my lovely lovelies!

Respect the Do

Brighton has grown increasingly shaggy.  Due to a sufficient amount of procrastination, and a less sufficent amount of funds, we haven't gotten around to getting his hair cut.  Also, he's super cute when shabby.  I mean, shaggy.

The only thing I feel bad about is that his hair covers his eyes and I'm 82% confident he could be considered legally blind. I'm curious to see if I can get him a seeing eye dog, or if being a dog himself would be considered a conflict of interest.

He's also got fabulous comoflage.  I'm thinking about painting his nose white to complete the illusion.

To help him see we tried putting barrettes in to clip his hair back, but that just seemed like animal cruelty.  So we experimented and a suave little comb over did the trick to clear his eyes.

Also, he looks a little familiar.  Who does he remind me of?  Oh yes.

Practically twins. 

Comb over- check
Looks like an old man yet devilishly handsome- check
Scraggly facial hair- check
A stare that goes straight to your soul- check

Yes, a dead ringer.

And for those crazy nights at home, Brighton always has this look in his arsenal:

I think this look is actually a little slimming.  Also, it's straight up Gary Busey.

Or, if you would prefer:

Everyone loves the troll dolls, right?

Vegetarianish

Last weekend I went to Texas Roadhouse with a couple of my family members.  They convinced me to try the steak, and I decided to give it a go, and me and my sister, Britney decided to split one.

The waiter came along and asked for our order, and asked how we'd like it cooked.  Britney piped up with "medium rare" as I was about to say "well-done" and I realized that although we're splitting a steak we never put much thought ahead of time that we'd probably want it cooked differently.  The waiter and my family assured me that "medium-rare" was the best way to cook a steak 'cause the meat melts in your mouth.  Really, melting meat is the best way you can convince me to try something new?  'Cause the idea of meat melting in my mouth isn't as appetizing as you might think.  I said ok, I'll do it your way, let's go ahead and cook it medium-rare.

The steak came out and my stomach flipped.  It was so red.  I was told that the red is just the juices, and it's not blood.  Personally, I'm going to go ahead and assume that if it looks like blood, smells like blood and tastes like blood, chances are extremely high that it's blood.  The kind waiter happened to stop by as I said "I'm sorry, I just can't eat that." and said he'd take my half back to cook more.  While I'm incredibly grateful, I couldn't help but wonder why that option wasn't offered in the beginning while we were debating how the steak should be cooked.  My brother said to the waiter, "Sorry, she's a vegetarian, and we're trying to get her to start eating meat."  Not true, but completely worth the look on the waiter's face as his jaw dropped and said something along the lines of  "Wow, you're sure throwing her out there starting her with a steak."

My steak came back still pink, but I didn't want to be the brat to send it back a second time, and decided to just eat it as is.  I don't want to use the word "painful", but I've come to the conclusion that I'm not a steak girl.  That meat just sat in my stomach all day and made me feel gross.  I'm still waiting for a cat-sized parasite to burst through my stomach adorned in top hat and tails ala Space Balls's parody of Alien.

But now I'm thinking maybe I should be a vegetarian. I've actually put a lot of thought into this, and I'm going to do it.  No animal products whatsoever.

Except dairy of course.  That's not really a big deal, anyway.  And life without ice cream is no life at all.  Oh, and eggs I think are fine 'cause those things were never alive anyway, and they get laid whether or not people eat them.  So milk and eggs, but everything else is off limit.

Except. . .  tuna's not bad, right?  Fish aren't really that sentient and fish are just fish.  Yes, tuna is ok.

Although, chicken is just the basic white meat, right?  Chicken is just chicken and it's hard to get away from chicken, so why bother?  Ok, so chicken is acceptable.  It'll be my source of protein, since the body has to have protein.

And Turkey on thanksgiving.  What is Thanksgiving without turkey?  Turkeys are stupid anyway.  They can drown themselves by looking up at the sky when it rains.  That being said, they kind of deserve to die.

And bacon is super delicious.  I mean, really really good stuff, that bacon.

Other than that I'm going to be a totally hardcore vegetarian.